growing up

it's crazy how times flies by; high school doesn't seem that long ago and same with freshman year of college. It's SO weird that I'm a senior in college. I went to the dentist a few days ago and the lady was asking me what year i was and when i said i was a senior, i paused for a second cause that sounded so bizarre. I talked about this with my friends before school ended so you would think i would be use to saying it but i just can't get over how strange it is. I have no idea what i want to do with life. I just makes lists of places i want to travel to but that will require having a job so i can have the money for that. All i know is that i would love to work in the Smithsonian Museum, or some place cool like that, or work on someone's political campaign, or open an art gallery. Own some cool place where people could come and show their art and maybe become somewhat famous.
Today is my birthday (yay!) and now I'm 21 (that sounds so old). It crazy that now I'm basically an adult. This is my last summer as a kid and be able to lay around and watch TV if i want to during the week and just kinda do whatever i want. Next summer i will(hopefully) be getting a grown up job and be living in an apartment paying bills and doing grownup things and be in the real world. Being in the real world seems scary. I'm definitely starting to feel that I'm ready to move out of my parents house but everything else still terrifies me.I know that I'm rambling and kinda repeating myself but this is my blog so it doesn't matter. I guess the main point of all this rambling is that the fact that I'm growing up is beginning to scare me and being a senior in college is gonna be an emotional ride.

ok so..

so i thought i was gonna keep up with this blog a lot better than i have apparently been doing.
I'm ready to get back to school and see everybody; this summer has been long enough. My birthday is Monday! I'm getting so old lol
I start my art class on Tuesday, it should be interesting!
That is all

Hello!

Hello blog world!

i'm not a great writer but i figured this might be a great way for me to get most of my thoughts out and maybe amuse a few people too lol

so the last couple of nights i have been having issues sleeping; this never happens i'm one of those people who goes to sleep fast and is like dead the rest of the night; so naturally since i can't sleep i start thinking. Recently i have been beginning to realize how i have changed( for the good) and that i am now starting to realize who i am and being completely fine with it.

Examples:

* i use to think i was somewhat of a loner and that i need a good bit of alone time. That is not quite as true as i thought. I need to be around people a lot more than i would have thought

* i hate being told what to do, can be very stubborn, and i don't always listen as much as i should.

* i question everything

* i use to plan everything and hated the unknown, now i don't plan and i'm kinda loving the unknown

* i'm sarcastic and should learn when it needs to be turned down

* i'm so scared of being hurt, i have built walls around me

* i'm a complete nerd but thats totally cool :)